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| okay well this is my last post.
i got a new xangaaa.
why??
well because im growing out of the username.
i mean, im not gonna be a cheerleader forever,
so why not switch now?
also its gonna be a good change.
i hope that my subscribers follow me :))
the new username is
shelbys_journey
so yeah go add itttt! :)
bye loveyysss.
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| holaaa,
im in the mexican moooood ;)
after all i just got back from cancun :)
and wow was that an amazing experience!!
i wrote some diaries on my itouch that i will upload on here.
but im just gonna give a quick sum sum.
well the plane ride was fiiine
i love taking off and landing,
for some reason it gives me a thrill.
goiiiing soo fast that if you were outside the plane
your skin on your body would be flapping haha.
yeah once i got there i loved it.
the people were so nice, and willing to help
which later on i found out that they just wanted tips :p
but hey, its a poor place, why not help??
the hotel was GORGEOUUSS.
as soon as you walk in they gave you a rose,
and this awesooome drink that was practically orgasmic!
rooms were great,
they had a bed on the balcoyyy :o
the hotell was phenomenal!!
i had unlimited everything.
i could order anything from room service, at anyyy time
and it was FREE!!
same with ordering drinks or food at resturants and bars.
obviously only if you had your wrist band saying you stayed there.
okay well enough with that.
the water is everything what people say.
3 different shades of blue!
the water is so warm too.
well the sun made me niiiice and tan, which is spectacular.
i went to the mian pyramids, ziplining, parasailing, to ride on quads, isla mujeres, and all over cancun.
beautiful place i must say.
it was a little dead, and not many hot guys.
but there was ooone.
we pretty much eye fucked each other,
and thats it.
he was staying at a different hotel,
nooo possible chance.
but damn he was hotttt.
anyways the hotel employees were even trying to feed me alcohol!!
they knew i was underage by my wrist band.
to bad my birthday wasnt a month earlier.
i would have been 18 and drinkinnngg! :p
but my dad gave me some, surprisingly.
so that was chill.
ill upload some pictures :)
here they are.
well thats ittt
<33 shelby
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| tik tok on the clock
but the party don't stop no
oh oh woahh.
oh im in love with this soonngg
dudes are line-in up cuz they hear we've got swagger,
but we kick em to the curb unless the be look look like McJagger.
and the party dont start till i walk innn.
okay anyyy who.
i guess you can tell im in a good mood huh??
well yepp i am.
other then that little disappointment yesterday.
well richard...
you think your cool, well let me tell you.
i could do so much better, and one day you will be beggin.
haha ooh it feels good to talk like that.
the only thing i would ever want from him now is a hook up.
thats all he is good for.
and thats when i get past that point..
which may happen soon or maybe not.
okay anyways onto my good moooood :)
well V is talking to me.
i feel on top this time.
like i have control.
i just have to make sure that i dont get sucked in and i dont go for him full force.
wheeww.
and had a good talk with benji last night and he was telling me that i dont need a guy
that im forcing things,
that i just need to wait patiently and something will happen.
hes right idk why i was freaking out.
so what i have no experience.
it will happen one day.
although i have to admit, its driving a little crazy.
secret, everytime i watch even just a little make out scene on tv it SUCKS.
and all these bad songs lady gaga sings, sometimes i wish i could think like that.
haha quinkie that i just got voted for most likely to take home to mom and dad at school.
which by the way need to look cute tomorrow.
so yeah im obsessed with music right now.
its an easy way to just let steam off.
just dance around in your room as if nothings wrong.
hmm good idea.
im gonna go do that ;)
bye bye biiirrddiee ;)
^^ richard.
for now...
<3 shelb
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| ^^^ that should be my life theme. haha
well today was going good.
until now, when my parents decide to piss me off.
they treat me as if i am 13.
I'm turning 18 in a month...
you'd think that i would be able to make sooome decisions by myself??
yeah yeah, its because they care about me
blah blah.
yeah i know they care,
and yes that explains why they are strict.
but there is a time in a teens life when they need to experience things on their own
now I'm not saying go balls to the wall getting drunk every weekend,
or getting high, and sneaking out.
but sometimes we need to learn from our own mistakes.
not only that, but my parents treat me as if i need to be watched over.
I'm a fucking angel compared to most teens my age.
i tell them everything, and when i say everything.
i mean ever single little thing.
my peers think I'm crazy for that.
i don't drink (did it once and told them about it after)
i don't smoke, and nor do i plan to.
i don't sneak out (one time as a joke ran across the street and then came back)
i don't lie when going out
i surround myself with good people
I'm so grateful i thank my parents for practically everything.
i am such a family person
even my parents friends tell them they wish they had a kid like me.
although i have those Ups
the downs are
i dont always do things when asked, ( but who the hell does?? if its an hour after, or a second... its still gonna get done)
i argue... yeah big flaw
i get snappy when I'm angry.
and i don't always listen.
but i don't do anything against the rules.
i don't understand all this restriction.
i don't understand all this menace.
they can be so cruel.
when i have kids i proommmiiise to never purposely try and make them feel stupid.
don't get me wrong i love my parents TO DEATH.
but this is going to drive me away.
i cant wait till I'm 18..
xoxo shelbs <3
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| my head is going crazy with all these thoughts.
i dont know what to make up of them
boys, friends, school, what i want to be, family.
sooo much.
i cant stand listening to slow songs,
but like the song, i cant turn it.
i want things to happen.
but we all cant be blessed with great things.
especially all at once.
i want this boy.
ive wanted him for awhile i guess.
but now its driving me crazy.
i want to believe he is everything that i know he can be.
but will he be that to me. show me that side.
my heart hurts.
my chest feels heavy.
im not depressed, but i so desperately want certain things.
i talked to S last night and he was telling me that guys are afraid to "break me."
and that i pick the wrong guys.
he even admitted that i shouldnt have liked him
and that he felt like a dick when he told me that he was confused.
he finally told me that he was afraid.
although i will always have a feeling towards S.
its not as strong as the current one.
i though S would be the guy that i would drop any guy for.
but hes not. V is.
at least at the moment.
even Ke comes before S.
and that was AGESSS ago.
the talk was good. it gave me a new perspective.
for some reason i just want to talk about all this.
to just sit here and think.
even though all this thinking is driving me crazy.
this thinking is putting me in a deeper whole.
but maybe thats what i need right now.
just a steady, thinking, crying sesh. :?
horrible that this is what its all come down to.
what has become of my life.
what happened to the careless free little girl?
oh shes still there, but only when i have to hide all of this.
i want to be that careless free little girl with someone.
that special someone.
ive waited 17 years, and still nothing.
not even one little chance.
maybe a little chance but they werent right for me.
i knew that almost right away.
and the ones that got away, wasnt my doing.
but i guess everything happens for a reason huh?
well lets see what my fate is.
let it come fast.
cuz im tired of waiting.
and i dont want to go do something stupid,
and not stay true to who i am and what i believe in.
im waiting... again.
xoxo shelbs <3
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